1/4/2010 10:06 PM
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Let me just say that I have no regrets doing IVF. I've always dreamed of having children and will figure out a way to accomplish my dreams.
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1/4/2010 10:03 PM
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Cristeen7 - I'm wondering if my eggs are too old and that a young donor's eggs would solve our problems. It just seems so weird because I'll get some good embryos, I'll get pregnant, beta numbers rise and at least double like they should, progesterone levels good. . . and then I'll miscarry, I just can't seem to make it to seeing the heartbeat. UHG! I'm so sad and tired of crying. This IVF stuff is so hard and emotional. I have a follow up dr's appt next week and hope to schedule the genetic testing (I wonder if insurance covers this) and to get some information on donor eggs. I am going through University Hospitals and love my drs. They are wonderful. Please let us know your test results.
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1/4/2010 9:59 PM
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Hey everyone.
Christeen, I am so sorry!
I understand everyones financial struggles too. We are 100% out of pocket plus the cost of PGD which is 4-5K. Fortunately my parents have offered to help us out. They said they wanted to invest in their grandchildren. I figure one day hopefully we'll be able to pay them back. We also did the credit card that deducts $ from your paycheck before taxes for medical costs. So that helps a little. Maybe you can see if you or your DH's company offers something like that. I've also realized that everyone that works at the fertility center has gone through IVF. If all else fails, try to get a job at a clinic, I'm sure you must get a good discount.
I started my stim on 1/1, even with an FSH level of 12, I go tomorrow morning for my US and blood work. I REALLY HOPE they don't cancel my cycle! UGH!!! I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but I am having night sweats. Anyone else have this happen? Hopefully I'll get some answers tomorrow... good answers!
Wishing everyone well! Lots of Baby dust and prayers!!!
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1/4/2010 9:51 PM
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Thanks everyone again for your support. We are definitely going the DE route. Like someone said, there is really no point in wasting more $$$ on drugs for my stimulation..it's obviously not going to work. Going into this, I knew this was a huge possibilty. My mom went through menopause at 37 so deep down I almost expected this. I have been researching and you can do DE with just the egg and your SO's sperm which is what we will do. I'm a little confused about if we have to use an agency to secure the donor..some of their fees are high. I'm hoping to get more insight at my appt with the RE. I am really going to explore the shared cycle idea. I only really want 1 more child (twins would be great too) so if a donor stims for 8 or 10 good eggs, there should certainly be enough to go around. I would be willing to compromise on the donor's characteristics,etc. The younger women just stimulate much bettter and there wouldn't be such a concern of a chromosomal issue because the egg would be young. I'm feeling okay..just drained physically and emotionally but I know we're not out of the game yet. Ladybug, we are using the Cleveland Clinic and would definitely be interested in a shared cycle. I'm sorry about everything you've been going through..I feel sad but can't imagine how you are feeling...Stay strong!! Hoping..I'm thinking of you..hang in there!
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1/4/2010 9:19 PM
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Hoping2- try to relax, it is all in God's hands. Enjoy the pregnancy and every moment. I would think if your dr was concerned he would have told you. All the worrying isn't good for the baby either. Hang in there.
Cristeen7 - I live in OH (Cleveland area), too. I've done 2 IVF's and got pregnant both times and m/c'd both times. I also had one IVF (in between the other 2 IVF cycles) cancelled and flipped to an IUI but it was unsuccessful. I recently miscarried (last week) with the last IVF try (transfer in November) and depending on how the test results on the fetus come back and the genetic testing me and my husband are going to do next month, we are considering DE (I'd definitely be interested in looking into the shared process if it is less expensive) or adoption. I will be 39 at the end of the month. I miscarried back in February due to an extra chromosome 15 (which is random but caused by age). If this recent m/c is due to the same chromosome issue, I don't think I will spend any more money with IVF and my own eggs. Though I do have one embryo on ice, but I'm not sure of the chances of the thaw being successful. Good luck with your beta test today. I wish you the best!
Does anyone know about the success rates of frozen embryos and their thawing? Also, with DE, is it donor embryos or donor eggs? Just wondering if with the shared process we could use donor eggs and my DH's spermies. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Good luck to all!
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1/4/2010 5:09 PM
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Me again ladies.... my doc's office just called and they said the doc was not concerned with my progesterone number, but for my piece of mind they are increasing my progesterone shot by .5. I am going crazy today (can you tell by all the postings). I am certain that my doc will be so happy when I finally get released to my OB. I email him (and call the nurse) all the time.
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1/4/2010 4:59 PM
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Ladies - I am freaking out here.... I just got my progesterone number and it was 18.3. Why is it going down? My numbers have been all over the place: 12/21 - 19.1, 12/23 - 24.9, 12/28 - 22.4 & 1/4 - 18.3. Has anyone else had these low numbers? My HCG was so great and I was finally starting to breath. Now my progesterone is low. I am so worried. I have left a message with my doctor's office. Hopefully they call me back soon.
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1/4/2010 3:26 PM
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Cristeen - I am so sorry to hear your sad news today. I have been there and it is heartbreaking. I know nothing I say can take away the disappointment that you feel, but my mantra throughout this whole process has been "I am grateful that I live in an age where modern medicine can give me options" Also, know that with donor egg your chances of achieving pregnancy go way up!! You may experience some mourning, but I can tell you from experience, when they show you the embryos (before they transfer) you will think of them immediately as "yours" Also, I have gotten pregnant twice from donor, I feel that my last pregnancy (ended in m/c) and this current one is "my" baby in every way. I love this baby! Please keep us posted on your journey. If you have any questions for me regarding donor, I am happy to share my experiences.
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1/4/2010 3:11 PM
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Ash - I am sorry to hear of your struggles. Unfortunately, I don't know anything about high FSH. My issues are that I am 39 and when I tried fertility meds I only produced 3 follicles, so I had (chose) to use donor follicles. I m/c’d my with first IVF in October. I had my 2nd on December 10th. So far I am pregnant, but my HCG numbers are not quite doubling, so I wait... When do you go back for the u/s and blood work?
Cristeen - I completely understand your situation. I am 39 and have gone through several IUI's and one attempt at IVF (with my own follicles), which got cancelled because I only produced 3 follicles. We decided to save the money and move forward with donor egg. We maxed out a credit card, maxed out a line of credit and charged quite a bit on another credit card. We certainly did not have the money for this, but the way I figure is "it will get paid off eventually". This way of thinking keeps me from stressing about the overwhelming finances of it all. My first attempt with donor egg ended in m/c (Oct.). We again had to use a credit card to pay for the frozen transfer (although considerable less than the fresh cycle). I had that transfer in December. So far, I am pregnant and have my first u/s on Wednesday. My advice is, if you don't have issues with using donor, then don't spend any more money trying with your own follicles. Use the money towards the donor. Also, do not feel guilty about wanting this child. My SO has three daughters (24, 22 and 19) and 2 granddaughters (3 1/2 & 8 months). I have one son (16); however we do not have any children together. We have been together for 14 years and I always knew I wanted more children. I waited too long. I went back to school at got my bachelors’ and masters and was waiting until school was over. We started trying while I was taking my final class (back in 2007). I hate to say this, but in my case, I want this baby more than my SO does. It's not that he doesn't want the baby. It's just that if it didn't happen, I would be heartbroken and he would be okay. Keep trying to achieve your dream. It WILL happen and you WILL find a way to deal with the finances. How did things go today at your appointment?
Mablackie - Sounds like you are very lucky with your insurance coverage. I had no coverage what-so-ever. Everything has been out of pocket. I have been stressing so much about getting pregnant that I have paid little attention to the finances of it all (that's my SO job)
Summer - Welcome. Everyone on this site can relate to your feelings today. It is like torture waiting for results. Just to share my recent experience... I got pregnant through IVF in Oct and was getting dizzy and my boobs were extremely sore and then I ended up m/c'ing right away. I did another round of IVF in December and got pregnant again. I am 6 1/2 weeks now and have my first u/s on Wednesday. I have had NO symptoms. My boobs are not sore; I am not nauseous at all. The only thing I have noticed is I feel kind of floaty sometimes (lightheaded), almost like I am buzzed (although we know I am not drinking). A few sharp pains in the groan area and sometimes it aches (but seriously this has been very little). Symptoms are not a sure sign of being pregnant. You could very well be pregnant. Did you POAS (pee on a stick)? If not, you are really good. My Doctor's office told me not to do that. The first time around I didn't do it, but this last time I could not help myself. Please update us when your numbers come in. I will hope for a BFP (Big Fat Positive).
Wannabe - What an exciting day for you tomorrow. It's crazy the things they do now. My son is 16 and when I had an u/s (eons ago), they didn't even give you videos. All I got was a picture. Now they are doing full scans - wow!! Do tell the details when you are done.
As for me... After my beta came back kind of low last Monday, I couldn't take the worry anymore, so I asked my doc if I could take another blood test today. He agreed. The nurse just called with my number. My beta was 10,437 today! I am so relieved. This is how my numbers have gone: 12/21 - 253, 12/23 - 331, 12/28 - 1083 & 1/4 - 10,437. At this point they said the numbers can't tell them anything, so I wait until the u/s on Wednesday. The only other worry I have is last Monday my progesterone had gone down from 24 to 22. Those numbers will not be in until later today. I really hope they went up. The crummy part is that my numbers will not come in until after the doc office has closed, so if anything looks weird I have to wait until tomorrow to talk with them about it. I have to say, that today is the first day in weeks that I am not feeling so much worry.
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1/4/2010 3:11 PM
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As I suspected, I got cancelled. It feels terrible but I didn't sleep for 5 sec last night preparing myself for this. You always hope when they start with that probe, something miraculous has happened. It has been a long day..the driving into Clev was stressful as there is alot of snow falling. I had 2 follies-1 at 12mm and the other at 19mm. That's it! The RE wants to meet with us in person but, of course, she has no appts until the 29th. I'm sure she wants to tell me in person that my ovaries are shot!! I have started checking into egg donor agencies already. I know he is too.
Welcome and good luck to Summer...hoping you get that BFP!
WannaBe..you have to be so excited to see those little ones in detail...congrats and thanks for your reply!
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1/4/2010 12:11 PM
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Hi Summer...welcome! Good luck with your first Beta test today. As always, we'll all be hoping you get a BFP. Yes, the waiting never gets any easier!
Snowie, so glad you are back. I am sure God is working hard to help you find a way to make another cycle happen. Wish I had some meds left over but just don't have hardly anything. Think I have 4 Ganerelix but not sure of their expiration date. I'll check if you need them.
Cristeen....I understand your frustration. I didn't suffer from high FSH but just older eggs and it is so maddening at each ultrasound. I believe it was Toni on this site who did DE with a "shared risk" type of program. There are several out there all over the country. I'm on another site specifically focused on DE and have seen that many women use this type of program to help with costs. After 3 IVF attempts on my own, we switched to DE and I'm now almost 22 wks with twins. Good luck to you!
For those of you that were wondering when it's OK to tell everyone about your pregnancy, my OB said that most miscarriages due to chromosomal issues happen by 9-10 weeks. It is generally safe to tell after that. By week 13 (the end of the first trimester) your chances of having a miscarriage go down by 65%. It's challenging because we as IVF patients find out so much earlier than normal pregnancies. I began telling everyone around 12 weeks.
I go in tomorrow for my babies full anatomy scan. It is supposed to take about 45-60 min. of u/s per baby so will be a long appt. They measure everything to make sure all is on track, all 4 chambers of the heart are there, kidneys are working, etc. Should be an exciting appt. to see everything.
New Year, new beginnings for all of us! Good luck to everyone!
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1/4/2010 9:26 AM
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Hi there. I have just completed my first IVF cycle and I had my first beta test this moring and am waiting for the results. Very nervous! I don't feel pregnant...but I previously went through several IUI cycles, and thought I was pregnant then. So, who knows! I wonder if taking all the medications during an IVF cycle throws your "normal" cycle off...therefore as a result, I have no idea what's going on. I had one miscarriage last year...so I'm extra nervous because of that. If this blood test is positive, I've been told that I will have two more to take to ensure that my beta levels continue to rise. I don't know about anyone else, but this is the most excrutiating experience!!
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1/4/2010 7:12 AM
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Cristeen- I know EXACTLY how you feel. I see that same look in my DH eyes too. And I feel really bad that this didnt work for us. Fresh or frozen. So if you find out anything about that shared donor thing let me know. I am trying to find anyway that it would be cheaper for us so that may be the route we have to take. You can email me directly at wantingababy@gmail.com. goodl uck at your appointment today.
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1/4/2010 4:36 AM
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Hey ladies...thanks for your replies. Snowie, so glad you're back. You are always so great to talk to. It is 430am and my appt is at 730 this morning..day 5 of stims starting day 6 after this mornings injection. I'm full of anxiety. I just know I'm going to get bad news. I don't feel half as bloated as I did last time with my 3 little follies!! Have been researching the egg donor thing. The shared donor is a great idea!!!! I have been looking around online for programs in OH. Have emailed a few. Maybe all hope isn't lost. But we would have to do some major raising of the funds!! I still feel selfish thinking about using all of our resources on this when I have three beautiful healthy kids...the emotions are hard. I kow my DH wants to be a father(2nd marriage) to his own child even as great as he is to mine. I can see it in his eyes whenever there is a baby or small child around. I'm not ready to quit...
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1/3/2010 11:23 AM
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Cristeen- one of the ladies on here did a shared cycle. (I dont know if thats what its called ) but the way I understood it was they got donor eggs from someone who was also going through IVF and then they split the eggs between each other. I am trying to find out more about this but have been unsuccessful. But that is an option since you pay out of pocket. I totally understand how you feel we are 100% out of pocket and we are almost maxed on or cc. DH doesnt want to use them again b/c we need to keep them for an emergency. so we are looking into other financing options while we wait for our follow up with the doctor. I am just going to flat out ask if there is any way he can give us a discount on a fresh cycle. Cant hurt to ask. I mean he know i am an easy patient. I stimmed ok. I got 10 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized without any ICSI and 4 made it to a beautiful blast. And both times I technically got pregnant. The first time blighted ovum and second a chemical but pregnant none the less so heres hoping.
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1/3/2010 8:29 AM
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Cristeen,
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Most of us on this site have been there. Don't give up hope!
Talk to your doctor's office about finances. Most offices have donated meds that you can get. I just donated a bunch of medication to my doctor's office. They said that they would give it to someone who's insurance didn't cover it. I woudl also post something on this website. HOnestly, tell everyone what meds you are on and what you need. I bet you'll find someone willing to help out. I am lucky in that I live in MA and I have pretty damn good insurance, especially perscription coverage. I paid less then $1,000 for all of my meds and I went through 3 failed IUI's and 1 IVF. There have to be more girls out there who have good insurance that can help you out!
I"m sure you've all ready done this, but if you or your SO has insurance, call both companies. My company offers 3 different insurance companies for coverage. 2 of them give you a $15,000 life time max for infertility (that does not include perscriptions). so after 1 year, I swithced to a new company so that I could get another $15,000 since I used up the first $15,000 in less then a year. Call around and ask questions!
Good luck to everyone trying. I think 2010 will be a good year for all of us. Hang in there!
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1/2/2010 7:06 PM
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Happy New Year everyone!!! Hope everyone is feeling okay whereever you are in this process. I started follistim on Wed 12-30-It's my 2nd cycle. Went in this morning feeling optimistic for my monitoring appt. My area around my ovaries has been crampy and I've been feeling twinges. The tech took about 2 sec to scan me( I knew that couldn't be good). I had to wait unitl after 2 for results and then they didn't call until after 3. My SO and I were already discussing an egg donor on the ride home because I'm afraid I'll get cancelled again! The results after 3 days of stims were 2 follies 1-17mm and 1-11mm. My estradiol is 177. Doesn't feel too promising to me!! I've been crying off and on all afternoon. I continue follistim and add ganarelix tonight and have another sono on monday. We had to stop at the pharmacy to get a few more days of meds to carry us until Monday. Our credit card for this stuff is maxed and now we are dipping into our paychecks..925.00 gets us to Monday. I know everyone here knows what I'm feeling...at 39 I finally have a wonderful SO that I want to raise a child with and it sure feels like it won't happen! What would be the next step if I'm cancelled again? Is there another protocol or is only DE left for us? I have absolutely no qualms about DE but I really think financially, it's impossible for us. THis stinks!!! I am trying to remain grateful,however. I know alot of you have been through much worse. All of you inspire me with your strength and perserverance! THanks for listening!
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1/2/2010 6:19 PM
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Hey everyone! So happy to hear all your good news! And I'm still praying that others get good news too, after all it's a new year!
Snowie - Welcome back! I just started my 2nd cycle yesterday, so I will let you know if I end up having any meds to donate to you. Hopefully I do! I am paying out of pocket for everything as well, so I understand. My clinic donated some to us, that others had donated to them, which was a huge help!
Unfortunately, prior to starting my doctor called saying my FSH was high this time at 12. Less than a year ago it was only 4. He said their cut off for doing an IVF cycle was 14, but because mine was 12 I could start the meds but they might have to cancel my cycle depending on my US and blood work next week.
Does anyone know anything about the affects of FSH on IVF success? I looked up stuff on the internet of course. I have a genetic disease, so we are doing PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) to avoid passing it on. Last cycle only 4 out of 18 made it to the day 5 transfer and only 1 was healthy (unaffected with the disease). I miscarried very early. So we need lots of good quality eggs!
My doctor said it was up to us whether we wanted to start the meds with possibility of canceling cycle or wait until next month and see what my FSH was. I read that you are only as fertile as your highest FSH level though, so we started the meds. I am only 30, so I think an FSH level of 12 is really high. I have also been having night sweats. Has anyone else experienced this?
Hoping2B - A dysgenetic pregnancy is a pregnancy that has a genetic mutation.
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1/2/2010 4:14 PM
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mablackie - I have heard the same as you... once you see the heartbeat the chance of m/c goes down; however, I am not sure if this applies to us IVF ladies who see the heartbeat much sooner than others. I am going to go by my doctor’s lead. I think I will ask when the chances of m/c go down and then tell people then. The only people that know at this point are my mother and my son. We haven’t even told my SO parents, but then again, they don't even know we have been trying for over 2 years. My SO mentioned something to them about 1 1/2 years ago. Asking how they would feel to be grandparents again and of course they thought one of his daughters was pregnant. He said "no"... me, I am thinking of having another. They have never asked ANYTHING since then. If it were me, I would wait until you go to the OB appointment. Once everything is good, then I would start telling everyone then. It's not that far away. I really have wanted to tell some people already, but I am still having a hard tie believing it myself. I still don't "feel" pregnant. I can't wait to go in on Wednesday and see that everything is okay. That will be a big sigh of relief.
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1/2/2010 8:03 AM
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Ladybug, I am so sorry for your loss. I really think it will happen for you! Don't give up hope! Keep us informed on the testing. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hoping and Movan and all of the other ladies, I am wondering when to tell people too. We've told our immediate family and a few close friends, but that is it. Our parents are bugging us wondering when they can tell the rest of the family and thier frineds.
Doesn't the chance of miscarrage go down significanly once you've seen the heartbeat? We have had 2 ultrasounds where we've seen the heartbeats. We go to our OB a week from Tuesday. I'll be 10 weeks then. We are thinking that if things go well, then we'll tell people then. Do yuo think that is too early? I know that many women don't say anything until they are 12 to 13 weeks, but most of those girls are not IVF. Many of them have not even had an ultrasound yet. All they have done is hear the heartrate on that Doppler thing by 12 weeks. So I can see why they wait. I had a friend who went in for her 10 week appointment (her first doctor's appointment) and they did not find a heartbeat. She was told then that she had a miscarriage. When they did the D & C, she found out she had a molar pregnancy. If she would have had her HCG levels tested or an early ultrasound, they would have known from the beginning that the pregnancy was never viable.
Let me know what you all think.
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1/1/2010 2:50 PM
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Movan - Glad that thing were okay with JV's colonoscopy. I assume the cut the polyps (or burn them). I really need to get my SO in to have one of those soon. Oh my gosh, so sorry about his accident, but good practice for you - hehehehe.
About the hair loss; when I was pregnant (eons ago), I didn't lose any hair; however, after my son was born, all of a sudden I started to lose it in clumps. My boss at the time (who had a PHD in Biochemistry) told me that it was from stress on the body. I would think it was normal to lose your hair. Just remember that it is only temporary (and for a good cause).
When is your b-day? My SO will turn 48 on Jan 24th? Are you an Aquarius? As for telling people, I ere on the cautious side. I think somewhere between 10 and 12 weeks is good. Maybe ask your doctor when they feel the "safe" time is. In other words, I think there is a cut off where the percentage of m/c goes drastically down (I believe after the first trimester). Of course all of this is superstitious stuff because what will happen will happen regardless of telling (or not telling people). Everything is going great for you now and I know it will continue to.
Ladybug - I am glad that you decided to go out. Even just going through the motions can help with the healing and feeling "normal" again. I understand the crying. With my ectopic (in April of 2008), after I had my emergency surgery, when I came home, I cried uncontrollably. I seriously could not even remember what I was doing with my life before all that happened. I have NEVER felt emotionally hurt like that. Not that the m/c I had in Oct. was better, but I had the knowledge of knowing that I would get through it and I know you will too. As we all know, time is the only thing that helps and it seriously cannot move fast enough. Soon each day will get a little better, especially when you start getting some answers.
Toni - We will both have a big week next week. My first u/s is Wednesday. I will be praying for good news for the both of us.
Smiles - Your x-mas card sounds cute. When I was pregnant in Oct., I kept thinking that I was going to make an announcement in my x-mas letter. I guess I will have to make it a valentine’s letter instead.
As for my NYE... I have been so racked with worry and concern that I had a blow-up at my SO. I realize it was just my emotions (and taking things out on those closest to you), but honestly, he is not the best at comforting my thoughts. When I bring up any doubts, he agrees with me (WTH). I told him, he needs to be the support and just tell me everything is going to be okay (even if he doesn't know that for sure). Was not a good way to start the New Year. We did kiss at midnight (and then I made him kiss my belly), but there is definitely tension in the air today. Oh and I ate way to much chocolate last night - not a surprise.
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1/1/2010 11:26 AM
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Movan...sounds like life is pretty busy at your house!! We waited until we had visual confirmation of our pregnancy at 12 1/2 weeks to tell & were lucky enough that it was Christmas time so my DH put the ultrasound photo with a pic of us & the cat on a Christmas card announcing the news...Facebook works too if you are on it! Perhaps because it is the beginning of the year you can send out a New Years photo card with the news...I have a fairly small family & it took me 2 1/2 hours to call all of them...I couldn't imagine having to call all friends too!!
I hope this New Year brings health & happiness to all! Positive Baby thoughts to all!
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1/1/2010 11:10 AM
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Hoping2, we only went to 1 of the 2 parties we were invited to last night. I felt 2 would be too much for me to handle. I start off the days feeling somewhat ok and then as the day goes on, I feel as though my hormones kick into high gear and the sadness kicks in and then the crying starts. I know I will get through this, it will take some time. I'm anxious to complete the genetic testing to see where we stand. I'm also curious to know if there was a specific reason for this m/c that the dr's can find. God, life really sucks sometimes. I am happy to be starting off a new year, however, did not feel that I had anything to celebrate last night. We left the party around 11:30 last and experienced the new year at home, just the 2 of us. I gave my DH a kiss at midnight and the tears started streaming down my face... I never thought having kids would be so difficult. . . never dreamed it in a million years. Ok, sorry to babble on. . .
Well, I hope everyone else was able to enjoy last night. Congrats to all you ladies with good news and healthy pregnancies. I hope it is ok to say that I envy you all, and I hope that the rest of us will be in the same place sometime soon. Love you all!
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1/1/2010 8:02 AM
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Happy New Year Ladies!
Snowie, that was great . I love the Purpose Driven Life!
Movan, I am so glad you don't feel much either, even with twins. We've told a few people and everyone says "wow, are you so sick with twins. I hear it's horrible being pregnant with twins". I'm glad to know that I am actually normal. I've felt pretty good the last two days and I even made it to midnight last night (well, I was in bed ,but at least awake).
As for telling people, I think we are going to tell people after our 10 week appiontment with our OB. I figure that with all of the ultrasounds we've had, all of the blood work, etc., ten weeks shoudl be safe. If things go well, we'll tell people then.
Most of my friends who've gone though IVF have told people either right away or between 9 and 10 weeks. I do think that it's different wtih IVF that you get monitored so closely. I mean, you think that with a normal pregnancy, most girls don't even see their doctor for the first time until they are 9 or 10 weeks and then they just listen to the heartbeat. Most of the time they won't have their 1st ultrasound until around 14 weeks. So I can see waiting with a normal pregnancy. I have a friend who had a molar pregnancy and didn't find out that she had miscarried until she was 10 weeks along at her first appointment.
I'm not sure how we are going to tell people too. I'll probably call our close frineds, and then maybe send out a mass e-mail. I know that is lame, but how else do you tell everyone?
I hope everyone had a fun night last night! Here is to a great 2010!!
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12/31/2009 10:38 PM
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Hi Girls --
Just trying to stay awake long enough to make it into the new year...
Ladybug, wow! Thanks for sharing a piece of your life w/ us girls. I can relate. I was engaged when I was 21 to an abusive guy and at that time I so wanted to be pregnant and have a baby, however reflecting back, I'm so glad that I left him and that I didn't have a baby w/ him. When I met my current hubby, we married late in life and I wasn't ready right of way. A lot probably had to do w/ my mom passing from breast cancer and I was gone out of state taking care of her until she died. It should have been the happiest time of my life as a newlywed, however upon my return back to JV, I had changed and we were starting our relationship all over again....and I wasn't ready...time passed and I often forget that I'm going on 41 & he being 49. If I could turn back the hand of time to do these things sooner, however I can't and as we all know, everything DOES happen for a reason.
Snowie - thanks for sharing your passage w/ all of us. I had to copy it and paste it into a word document for when I need to be reminded of these simple things. How are you holding up kiddo?
Mablackie - awesome news on the twins. at 8 wks for me, I haven't felt "morning sickness" yet, however there have been a few days where I felt like I had an upset stomach later in the day/evening vs say morning. I am also growing increasingly tired w/ each passing day. I hate this "tired/exhausted" feeling as I'm so use to buzzing around w/ ease. I can't wait to shake it!
Hopping2b, one wk away, hold on sweetie! think positive and you will be fine. we await anxiously for the news.
as for hubby and how his test went...well, since you ask...all went well for him...sort of... had a few polups that needed to be removed and he needs hemmorid surgery (but he needed that 10 yrs ago). However I was rolling! I got to meet up w/ him in the recovery room. I think this was a mistake. They wouldn't release him until he expelled his gas...laying on one side wasn't enough for him. So he proceeded to get up on all fours w/ his bare butt in the air and letting one rip after another. I think I got to the letter Q of the alphabet before I lost it when I looked over a the woman recovering as well in the next bed over w/ her eyes as wide as a deer in headlights. I don't know how the RN's do that job w/o "cracking" up at their job. I know its a daily occurance for them, but seriously, can you imagine what jokes must fly around behind closed doors? Hey, what do you do for a living...oh, I'm a RN in the recovery room for patients who have a colonoclospy and it's a real gas...and there's no butts about it! Boy, did you see how hairy that guys @ss was...omg, i think I could come up w/ about another half dozen inappropriate comments, but I'll spare you ladies. Oh, it got better for me...(not), he came home and had an accident...a fart wasn't a fart in his pants that somehow exploded all over the bathroom...the whole time I was cleaning it up I was telling myself I'll take a poppie diaper anyday vs this explosion! Humm, I best be careful, I'll have to have one of these tests in 10 yrs from now and I'm sure I'll have to return the favor of humiliation.
As for 2nite and the NY... well, we were out entertaining last night and it turned into a longer night than I physically could handle, not to mention we had a guy from China in town for business who had too much to drink, so we couldn't possibly let him get on the road to drive, so we had him stay the night. I was up early to take my car in for a oil change and check up...good thing. They found the boot that holds the front axle broken and was deamed unsafe to drive (I now have a rental until the part comes in next week). Upon my return home and cleaning up from the entertainment and house guest, I crashed and burned for the day. Got up just a little bit ago for dinner. If I wan't preg, I'd be up for a nice dinner out but dinner at home was just as lovely too. Although I am dreading on going to the city on Saturday for dinner w/ another couple. They are hard drinkers and JV is not one to hold back either... it's going to be another late night will be wishing every second on being home safe & sound. Anyhoo, NYE becomes less of a big deal to me the older I get. The ones I seem to enjoy the most were the nights we spent w/ close friends and playing board games & having some good old time laughs. Sigh, guess I'm missing some of my old buds from Chicago!
OBTW, before I forget, I have a couple of questions for you ladies. one is hair loss. I use to have nice hair, but ever since I quit taking the pill several years ago, my hair hasn't been the same and was falling out. Now that I'm preg, it seems to be worse...it's like in clumps....I thought it would grow more & become more lusturous...not the opposite. What's going on?
The other question I'm proposing is, that in 2 wks it will be my bday as well as my 10 wk ckup. I'm going to be getting calls from family and friends who I would love to share the news with, but it's not quiet the 1st trimester. I would hate to have to call them a few wks later to share the news and have them get upset that I didn't share it w/ them earlier. JV is telling everyone (ever since we got a heartbeat), however I'm more reserved and I guess protective towards myself and this little embro. I know there are people that should know, but I haven't told yet. What to do? Any suggestions?
Lastly, when we do get the green light to "officially" share the news, what is the best way to share it w/ everyone. I can't possibly call up a hundred people and email seems a little impersonal...do I send out note cards and say we are expecting?
Well ladies, JV is missing me on the couch...best sign off for now.
Wishing you all a very restful & peaceful 2009 and a blissful and blessful 2010!
Love & Hugs to ALL!
Mo
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12/31/2009 7:46 PM
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Well here is something that a friend sent me after my last m/c in June. And I went back and read it today and it still helps me every time I read it. It reminds me of why I cant stay depressed forever. So I wanted to share it with you ladies. I hope it helps each and every one of you. Its lengthy but well worth the read.
This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,
'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness..
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for..
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease..
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation..
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
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12/31/2009 7:42 PM
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Hello Hoping,
My Beta will be next Thursday 01/07/2010
Love Toni
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12/31/2009 5:33 PM
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mablackie - I am so happy for your good news. This is wonderful way to start the New Year.
Hop - Congrates on your move to the OB and the great u/s. I understand the surreal feeling. I am almost 6 weeks and awaiting my fist u/s next Wednesday (Jan 6th). I really want to be excited and happy about this, but with an ectopic and a m/c, I can't let myself believe anything until I see the u/s. How are you feeling?
Toni - Glad to see that you are doing good and continuing to eat your pineapple. When is your beta test?
Ladybug - How are you feeling? Did you decide to go out tonight?
Ladies - I continue to worry and wish I could shake this concern. I cannot wait until January 6th. I keep telling myself, there is no reason why the pregnancy would not continue properly, but of course my "feelings" get in the way of my reasonable mind. My SO and I are going to stay home tonight and just watch Dick Clark (or Ryan Seacrest). What is everyone else doing?
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12/31/2009 2:33 PM
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Yipppppppeeeeeeeeeeee MaBlackie,
I am so happy to becoming an auntie once again of twins. I am on bead rest day 4 and I went for my Progesterone levels this morning. I feel so happy to be able to share with you all and enjoy you great news.
I am eating my pineapple and drinking some warm tea even if it is 79 degrees outside.
I wish you all a Happy and healthy NEW Year!!!! And I thank God for having found you sisters.
Love always,
Toni
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12/31/2009 11:10 AM
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Hi all, just checking in on your posts. I'm so sorry for those of you who have received discouraging news, I've been in your same spot and know how you feel. There's no words that can make it better, but just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Mablackie - congrats on your babies! That is such great news, enjoy every second of it!
I am currently 11 weeks today and all is well. We went in for our 1st OB appointment on Monday and the little peanut is growing so fast! I am now on the scheduled "every 4 weeks" appointments. It is still very surreal to us that this is actually happening. All I can say is, keep the faith, God has a plan for all of us and no matter how many trials and hardships we encounter, good is bound to come out of all of it.
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12/31/2009 10:46 AM
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Congrats Mablackie!!! What a great way to start the new year! Take good care of those babies & enjoy every minute!
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12/31/2009 8:47 AM
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I had my 8 week ultrasound today. Everything looks great!
Both babies are measuring at 8 weeks 2 days. You could see the heartbeating this time (last time the nurse could see it, but we couldn't). You also could start to see the spine forming. it was crazy! Baby A's hearbeat was 175 and Baby B's heartbeat was 144. They said anything above 110 is great!
I'm hoping that is my last appointment with the fertility doctor. They will call me today with the results of my Blood work (progesertone and estrogen test). I guess sometimes my doctor (who is very conservative) likes to see women with twins one more time at 9 or 10 weeks, which is fine with me. We will take all of the ultrasounds we can get.
Have a great New Years everyone! I think 2010 is going to be a great year!
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12/30/2009 5:02 PM
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Ladybug, you have been though a lot! I'm so sorry. When I started this whole process a friend of mine, who has twin girls via IVF, told me "you are going to be a mom. It may take longer then you want and it may not happen exactly as you want, but you are going to be a mom." That helped me a lot! I also saw this episode of a baby story recently where a couple adopted twin girls, literally right after they adopted them, they got pregnant on their own (which was not supposed to happen). The lady had 3 children under 2. She said "I don't love my son more then my daughters because he is ours. I honestly love all 3 children equally, which I never would have expected". I found that interesting as well.
Well, my 2nd ultrasound (8 weeks) is tomorrow. I'm excited, but nervous! I just want to see both babies and know they are both doing well and growing at the same rate. I'm feeling more nauseous every day. It's weird. I feel great in the mornings, and then worse as the day goes on. HOpefully everything goes well tomorrow and then I'm released from the fertility doctor and off to see my OB.
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12/29/2009 9:52 PM
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Ladybug - Wow... you have been through quite an ordeal this year. I think you are dead on about things happening for a reason. Although, probably not thought of that way at the time, it was probably a good thing you did not have a baby with husband #1. Husband #2 sounds wonderful and I know that you will get the baby you both deserve to share your love with. How that is achieved is out of our hands, but I KNOW it will happen. My SO and I have talked about adoption (when I m/c in Oct.). I even researched a few agencies and I am in contact with one. We have not gone to any workshops, but they email (and snail mail) me info all the time. I am hoping that this will not be an option we have to pursue, but that is only because I think my SO will not be able to handle it. With IVF, most of the work was done by me. With adoption it is an equal thing and he will have to be more involved. There is a plan for you and a baby that needs your love (whether it is one you carry or one you adopt).
My SO and I were only invited to one party, but it's at a bowling alley. Not only will my SO not allow me to bowl, but I am sure people will be smoking, etc... and I don't want to expose myself to that, so we will stay home. My SO has to work that night anyhow and we don't know what time he will get off. I can understand why you would not feel up to going to any party. In October after I m/c I completely bailed on a Halloween party we had already RSVP'd for. I never really explained to the hostess why we did not show (she doesn't know we are trying to get pregnant). I suppose once I get the all clear with this pregnancy, I will share this good news with her and also explain what happened on Halloween. If you are, however, feeling up to going out, by all means, go out and try to have a good time. Take the night to look forward to a new year that will bring you better things. I hope you are feeling physically okay. I wish you a speedy recovery (physically, emotionally and mentally)
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12/29/2009 6:20 PM
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. . . sure hope my DH gets back with that ice cream soon!!!
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12/29/2009 6:19 PM
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Hoping2- with my last post, I meant that God knew I should NOT have children with my last husband.
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12/29/2009 6:17 PM
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Hoping2 - I think because I've had 2 m/c's now, my DH and I will do the genetic testing no matter what the findings are on this pregnancy. As far as past testing, I had a laproscopic surgery back 1998 (I was 28 and trying to have a baby with my last husband). They discovered endometriosis though the drs have never stressed a concern about this getting in the way (the issue ended up being with my last husband). This past June I had a myomectomy (age 38) because of a handful of fibyroid tumors, a couple of which got kinda large from my IVF cycle back in January. I thought it would be a good idea to get my uterus in tip-top shape before trying again. That's really about it. My dr does some basic blood tests and updates them once a year as I do the IVF. Not sure where we will be going from here. . . I guess it depends on the the genetic testing on me and hubby and whether or not they find a specific cause of this m/c. Though I do truly believe that God was watching out for me when I was trying to conceive with my last husband. . . he was a horrible alcoholic with a very messed up alcoholic family, God knew I should have children with that man. Now I have found this wonderful man, husband #2 (not meant to label him) who is a loving man and treats me like a queen... where's my baby??? I just cannot believe I was put on this earth and not suppose to have children. I will have a baby, somehow. When we were discussing our situation and options at my dr's appt yesterday, my DH seemed more open to perhaps finding a little more money to reach our goal, perhaps adoption since that is more of a guarantee for the money.
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12/29/2009 5:59 PM
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ok, with all this talk of sweets, specifically ice cream (though fudge sounds awesome, too! I love fudge). .. I have asked my DH to run out and get me some vanilla ice cream. Hopefully he comes back with the Edy's light churned 1/2 the calories. . . regardless I will eat it. Can't wait! Some chocolate syrup and carmel topping, it will be a treat for my belly.
I hope everyone has fun New Year's Eve plans. My DH and I have been invited to 2 parties (one being a 50th b-day party) on NYE. I wonder if I will be emotionally stable and strong enough to go. A glass of wine sounds good, but doesn't. . . it has been a while since I've had a glass of anything alcoholic and it feels weird now that I can have a cocktail. . . I'm going to feel like I am doing something wrong.
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12/29/2009 5:57 PM
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Ladybug - I am so sorry for your ordeal today. I am glad that you are resting, so you can heal. My heart is breaking for you right now. When will they tell you the results from testing the embryo? Is it possible you can gain info from that test that will prevent further genetic testing on you and your husband? I am glad to hear that your doc says you are not too old to get pregnant. I am 39 (will be 40 in August) and I have heard both scenarios. My regular OB/GYN told me (when I was 37) that I was not too old to get pregnant (I started trying when I was 37), but my current infertility doc was not as encouraging; however, the one thing they agreed upon was that uteruses do not age the same way that follicles do and we definitely need a healthy uterus. Have you had other testing done (my apologies if you have posted this info before)? I had a hysteroscopy, but that was the only testing my doc performed and he only did it at my insistence after my m/c in October. I will be praying that you get the answers you need and the docs can use the info to change your protocol and achieve a healthy pregnancy for you. Do your best to stay positive and take the time you need to heal (emotionally).
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12/29/2009 4:16 PM
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Everyone, thanks for your kind words. I'm doing ok, I guess. I feel as though I am doing better than the last time, at least so far. I had a d&c this morning and am home resting. I thought I'd have the research done on the embryo/fetus to see if there was a specific reason for my m/c.
Hoping2 - the genetic testing will be on me and my husband. I don't know much about it yet, but they will take lots of blood from us and test for specific possible issues, chromosomal, etc. Congratulations on holding strong with your numbers. Keep it going! Take it easy.
I will be 39 at the end of the January and my dr says I am certainly not too old to get pregnant. So those of you in the same age group as myself, don't get discouraged because of age. We can do this!
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12/29/2009 3:17 PM
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Movan - You are hilarious. Last night I read what you wrote to my SO and he was asking me to read more. I understand your frustration with the age thing (and everyone else's judgment). I had a friend tell me two years ago that if I wanted another child, I better get started. She didn't even know that I had already started and almost died when I had an ectopic and my tube ripped. I just ignored her comment. I have many, many friends who have no clue that I have been trying for over 2 years because I don't want to deal with their judging. My SO hasn't told anyone either, especially not his daughters. His middle daughter (who is 22 and has two daughters) implied the other day that he was too old to have young children. Whenever we go out with her kids, people think we are their parents. My SO is 47 (will be 48 in January). I am 39 (40 in August). I think we have the same spread between us, as you and your husband. Anyhow, I say "It's not our friends or families lives, so who are they to judge". I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with boob issues. Last time I was pregnant (eons ago), I only gained 9 1/2 pounds and my boobs never grew an inch; however, I have more than my share to begin with. In fact, a couple years back I had a breast reduction (best decision I ever made) and my SO was actually upset that I took some of "HIS" boobs away. He still makes comments about it. He was not the one lugging them around, so it was too bad. I am very happy with my new size. You are correct that I live on the west coast. I am in CA. There is a See's factory in the next city over. I spend way too much time there - hehehehe. I am really a chocolate snob and don't like much except See's (maybe Godiva and Ghirardelli too). See's does have good suckers and hard candy too. How was JV's colonoscopy today? It is so funny you mentioned the colonoscopy, because last night I was watching Dr. Oz while my SO was at work and the show was all about men's health. The first thing I said to my SO when he walked in the door was "you need to get a colonoscopy'. I hope all goes well with JV. What are you doing for New Years? We have decided to stay home. Don’t want to be anywhere were people will be smoking or out on the roads. My SO has decided he will just make himself drinks at home, but he reassured me that he will give me some sprite in a purple glass and I can pretend I am drinking a purple hooter (my favorite drink). Oh joy!! Really I don’t drink, but a few times a year when we go out to karaoke (I can only sing with liquid courage) and I always have purple hooters (they are very good). Enjoy your Chardonnay, oh, uh, I mean sprite – hehehe. One last thing…. My SO got a cold and he is walking around here like he is about to die (he’s worse than a child). I got the same cold, but still had to do the laundry and give the dog a bath!
Toni - Congrates on the 3BB's; those are great embryos. You mentioned your donor was there for transfer too? Your donor was going through IVF as well? I have never heard of that. How does that work? Does the donor split her follicles in half? You get half, she gets half? My donor was strictly a donor. Also, I am surprised that they allowed you and her to be in the same room. My clinic was very careful to never have my donor and I in the clinic at the same time. In fact, one appointment, I had to call before I came in from the parking lot to be sure she had left already. As far as the pineapple, I ate 2 to 3 big spears per day. I wasn't sure how much to eat, but I am pregnant now, so that must have done the trick. And why not eat the ice cream. I couldn't hurt. I saw do whatever is going to make you feel more positive and like you are doing something to help. When do you have your first beta? By the way... I love your attitude (pregnant until proven otherwise) - I love it!!
Addis - After my first failed IVF (m/c within the first week), the only testing I had was a hysteroscopy. The doc put me under and looked at my uterus with a scope to see if there was anything going on in there that did not show in the ultrasounds. Of course they found nothing, but if you haven't had that test done, I would ask you doc to do that. The bad thing is you have to be put under, but there is no cutting and it takes less than 1 hour and you can go back to work the next day. Let me know what other tests your doc suggests. I am curious.
mablackie - I hear what you are saying about wanted that reassurance. I love this support group, but sometimes I wish I was ignorant about what can go wrong. I cannot wait until next week (Wednesday) to have my first u/s. I am sure everything will be fine on Thursday. Be sure to post your good news.
Snowie - So glad that you came back to the site. I have very little meds left, but I will take a look and I am happy to donate to you if you can use them.
While writing this post, the nurse just called from my doc office. The doc doesn't seem to be concerned that my progesterone dropped from 24 to 22. He said I am still within the range, so there is nothing to worry about, but I am still a tad worried. What if it drops again? I will not be testing again - hmmm.... Anyone else experience this?
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12/29/2009 12:31 PM
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Yippie Snowie,
I am so glad to see you did not give up!!!!!
I do not have any meds I did a shared cycle and gave all the leftovers from my first 2 cycles to her. But I will continue to as God to open more doors for you, my sister, believe have faith and trust in God.
mablackie13- I love your suggestion about the icecream- I will have to talk to my nurse (DH) he may not allow it. HEHEH- He says I am addicted to ice cream and cheese. I am eating my pineapple and being as good a possible laying here thinking of my babies.
I hope all of my sisters out there are well and continue to look to your selves to find peace and the blessing will continue to come our way.
Love
Toni
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12/29/2009 9:35 AM
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Anyone wanting to donate meds here is my email wantingababy@gmail.com. Please email me. If i can get what I need to do another cycle maybe my DH will be less likely to say no b/c that expense is already taken care of. Thanks to anyone willing to help
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12/29/2009 8:51 AM
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Hi Ladies,
Ladybug, I am so sorry for your loss!
I feel like there has been such bad news lately, that I am very nervous for my 8 week ultrasound on Thursday. I just want to go in and see two heartbeats again and see that both babies are growing at the same rate. I'm feeling nauseous a little more then I was, but still nothing major.
Toni, good luck to you! I just made sure I ate a serving or two of pineapple every day. I also heard ice cream is good (or just a lot of calcium, but since I love ice cream, I hate tons of it over those few days). Let us know how things turn out.
If anyone needs meds, let me know what you are on. If things go well on Thursday, I am donating whatever meds I have to my doctor's office. If anyone here needs Crinone or anything else, let me know.
Praying for everyone this week!
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12/29/2009 7:39 AM
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Hello ladies,
Even though I don't post but I connect with you sisters thru your posts. I do appreciate you and as what each one of your experience is a mirror to what at one point I am going thru at one point of time..So Snowie I am glad that u didn't cut all ties with the sisters. I am sure there is light at this tunnel we are walking on.
With my 3 failed cycles for no good medical reason other than I am old as per the doctor. I am depressed as well but don't want it to control me nor my actions. So try to run positive thoughts and pray for patience and endurance of whatever the outcome because God loves us and want us to ask him more to see how much we reach out to him.
And his mericfulness exceed everything.
Ladybug I am so sorry for you, but rest assured it happened for a reason this way. And hope the blood work gives u answers and direction of what to do next.
Toni --- Good luck and pray for those embies to implant...just drink and eat as much as you can tolerate and isn't there a saying too much of anything isn't good my hubby always says it.....
For everyone else glad that your pregencies are going well and thanks for the funny tales of DHs. And for everyone trying or starting best of luck and my prayers with you. And I know someone wanted some medics. Can you please provide me with info so I can send what I have...I think some follisum and micro lupron..since I don't know when I will start my 4th cycle. I am still waiting for my period so I can start to do some testing to see whatever is happening. I have to request that from my doc, does anyone have experience of kind of testing to know why they don't implant with everything within the normal required numbers? Just trying to see if there is anyway I can ask for the right stuff to be done to know and take care of it before I start on another cycle.
Praying for peace
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12/28/2009 10:15 PM
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Ladybug I am so sorry for you. I hope that the blood work provides some answers to you.
Hoping, your stories make me laugh so much, you must be a hoot in person.
Can any one tell me how much pineapple I should eat?
Toni
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12/28/2009 9:50 PM
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Hello Sisters,
I am so happy to see your post Snowie. God will open a door for you soon.
As for me, I am now sitting here with 2 embies and a very very attentive Nurse (DH) We had our transfer today.!!!!
5 day blast two 3BB Blasts were put back. Guess what sisters my donor was there having here transfer too. I wanted to run up to her and kiss her and hug her. But she does not know who I am since I never gave the clinic a picture.
She blesses us with 11 eggs , 5 of which fertilized with ICIS.
I am so Happy just thinking of all the miracles I have experienced this year. On that includes finding you all.
I am eating my pineapple and staying in bed for 4 more days. So expect to see me on here often.
I Love you all
Toni( pregnant until proven otherwise) LOL
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12/28/2009 9:25 PM
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All- I just logged on today to check on everyone. And I want to say to all of you that you are all so wonderful. I was being hasty by saying I needed to cut all of you out to move on. That is actually really silly since you ladies are probably the only ones ho really understand the hurt I feel. That being said I personally want to extend to mablackie and movan my deep appreciation and thoughtfulness. My DH and I are currently trying to re evaluate our finances and see if there is any chance in hell that we can try again. So I am going to put my email on here and ask that you email me so we can communicate personally. So my email is wantingababy@gmail.com. Any of you that want to email me feel free to do so.
Ladybug- I am SOOOOO sorry. From personal experience I know that this is a really bad time. I wish I could just hug you please stay strong. I hope you get to have your dream of holding your baby one day.
hoping- I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Your numbers sound ok to me but i am no doctor. So try to relax and not stress b/c it is not good on the baby (babies).
I am sure I missed someone and i just wnat to say I appreciate all of your well wishes.
I am really depressed and I hope I can find a way out. If we cant figure out a way to try again I feel like i could just die. Oh and my BFF is preggo. a week more than I would have been! I havent talked to her in a week. I feel so bad and dont know what to do.. If any of you have any advice I would love to hear it.
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12/28/2009 9:12 PM
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Ash & Cristeen, welcome back. Don't get on yourself w/ your age. I'm 40 (will be 41 in 2 1/2 wks) and will be having my 1st baby in Aug. I don't know, but it seems to be my radar, however when I'm at target, it appears that more women that I see preg are older and not younger. It's how our society is now adays. It's not like how it was when our parents raised us. Mom stayed home or worked part-time, to raise the family while the father was out working to support the family. Times so very much have changed as well as our means. It's a good thing I don't live anywhere near my sister right now, or I would have to kick her butt (although she probably could kick mine first), if I have to hear her tell me that everything is my fault because "I'm 40". She doesn't get it as we had gone down a differnt path w/ our lives. She's been married for over 20 yrs and has 2 boys. When I got married, my hubby was already 40 (he'll be 49 in June). Everything happens for a reason in our life, but we may not always understand or know why, but it all works out somehow, someway, and sometime for us. Keep the faith!
Ladybug, goodness, I wish there were words I could say that would express how sorry I am for your recent loss and wishing there was something I could do to take the pain away and bring that baby back to you & your DH. I hope you aren't giving up and will continue to try. If there is anything I can do to help, please do not hesitate to ask.
Snowie, if you are still out there, I agree w/ mablackie...I too have extra meds that I could donate.
As for those looking for other assistance as well w/ meds, etc... I know my dr. office had some special financial assistance programs & plans. You may want to inquire w/ them and see what they have to offer. Another option is to call your health insurance provider and see what other alternative options you have or if they can offer information on other services who can help. W/ any insurance provider, you may have to call several times before you get to the right person who can help you.
Hopping2b, that is so awesome w/ your numbers. Jan. 6th is less than 2 wks away...be strong and don't worry. Things are where they should be for now. As for how your body feels vs the typical symptoms that are written in the books, online, etc...I personally feel they are pretty much there for guidelines, however each on of us are made up differently and our bodies will react just the same....differently. As mablackie has stated, she has no sysmptoms at 8 wks (I'm jealous) w/ twins...while I on the other hand find myself tired and sleeping more and my boobs hurt like an SOB. What's funny is, I'm just an average sized woman who was given smaller boobs for my size (my boobs don't fill those form fitting dresses), now, I'm wearing sports bras and those don't even seem to cut it... I'm ready to go out and go shopping for something bigger and more supportive. OK, girls, here's your funny for the night. If JV tells one more person in public or on the phone that my boobs are growing, I'm going to have to "B-Slap" in right up side the head! Hellloooo, I'm not looking for attention & I'm not auditioning for "pregnant woman gone wild"! Anyhoo, it sounds like you may go through your pregnacy w/o any sweat! Enjoy it! Thanks for the 411 on the chocolate. Makes it hard not to have it around you w/ the holidays and all. Where is you said you live again? West coast right? Yes, I've had See's before, but no, they don't have them here in MA (that I know of). Love the suckers they have. Had them once when I visited a friend who lived in Long Beach many, many years ago. You are a lucky girl to have access to the goods...but your fudge sounds just as delightful!
Smiles, I think I'm going to have to do the same as you did on providing info on toxoplsdmosis. My RSC doctor gave me a one page hand out on how to protect myself from it, but it does not go into anything about what happens or what it could do to our unborn children. I do plan on asking for the test, however I'm not sure if this is something they will test for when I go in on the 15th of Jan for my 10 wk ckup or if I have to wait until 14 wks when I see my doctor? The thing is, it's does not just come from our cats, it comes from eating raw/under cooked meat/seafood, it could be on the skin of our fresh fruit, to toxins in dirt when gardening, and untreated drinking water. For anyone interested, here is a site from the center of disease & control...it might be helpful to all of us.
http://www.cdc.gov/toxoplasmosis/
Wannabe, wow, good for you on keeping your girly figure w/ twins! Also sounds like you have your hands full w/ a big move going on in the works for you. We moved into our home a year ago NYE during a noreaster snow storm and we are still settling in. (We still don't have window treatments...should make for interesting neighborhood gossip when they see a naked big belly pregnant lady walking past a window in a few months). Hopefully you will have friends and family who will help you w/ the move and make the move process smooth sailing, since your baby boys will be here in no time!
Well girls, JV has a colonoscopy tomorrow afternoon and I'm pumping him w/ a gallon of poo juice. I already knew he was full of crap (even when I married him), but he is acting like a 2yr old right now... "...this stuff doesn't taste good..."... and our men wonder why we are sensitive and moody? Hey honey, guess what, "Yummm, my Sprite just tastes like Chardonay"! LOL...
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