10/14/2009 3:33 PM
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mummy- No I have not discussed the GIFT or ZIFT with FET with my RE? What exactly is it? As far as I know I just take Lupron and estrace to prepare my lining then add in prometrium suppositories and estridol patches. Then right before transfer I will take a steriod and antibiotics and then transfer my blasts. But I dont know anything else that would need to be done.
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10/13/2009 8:25 PM
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p.s. do any of you have a financing company you an recommend?
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10/13/2009 8:19 PM
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Hi girls...my results were negative and now talking to RE I have to go see an immune RE and maybe will do a FET with GIFT or ZIFT...snowie have you talked to your RE about this? after the 2nd failed ivf the chances of success go up with these procedures....I am stuggling as I know the rest of the negs are...especially to find out that I now need an immune-RE and the money that will have to be spent for this...have any of you seen one and worked with them and the RE physician together?
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10/13/2009 4:01 PM
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Hoping...sounds like you had quite a day! I had the laproscopy/hysteroscopy a couple years ago...It wasn't too bad - gave me my first ever scars :-) Very sore after but I found that the more you try to move around the easier & quicker the recovery...I had a hard time sleeping lying down so I had to sit up in a chair...
Good Luck with your decisions & your next cycle - I don't know when I will be doing my last cycle but I hope to have a cycle buddy - this group has just been the most amazing!
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10/13/2009 2:40 PM
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Hi Ladies, I hope all is well with everyone. I had my consultation with doc today (or as they called it a reconsultation). My doc is 45 minutes away and it was raining so incredible hard, it made for a gloomy ride (not a positive note to start on). Basically, he could not pinpoint why I m/c'd. He said it was either the embryos or the environment (duh). He mentioned it was positive that I did actually come up pregnant (if only for two days). He thought I might have uterus problem that they cannot test for and there is no treatment. Something about the blood vessels growing into the muscles surrounding the uterus, making it hard for the embryos to implant. They might do a hysteroscopy (or something like that). Basically, they will put me under and look at my uterus with a scope. He doesn't think he will find anything, so they will only do this if I can be squeezed in before my FET. My FET is set tentatively for the second week of December, which I am happy and not so happy about. This would leave me taking a pregnancy test right before x-mas (if all goes well it would be a nice x-mas gift, if not, it will make for a lousy holiday). He also decided that he will up my estrogen and have me take steroids up until my pregnancy test. The steroids will help prevent rejection. One theory was that my body was rejecting the embryo because I used donor egg or possibly my SO sperm. He also mentioned having me try using vitamins (like E and one other). I told him to throw everything he had at me and that I was willing to do whatever he wanted. He also showed me the odds with FET and there were not much less than with fresh. I am not sure how to feel. There were so many theories and options thrown at me. I can say one thing though my SO is seriously out of touch with reality. On the ride home he told me that if I relaxed it would happen and his theory was that if this did not work, we would go on vacation and I would get pregnant all on my own without medical help. HELLO..... who has been going through this with me that last two years?? I am semi-irritated by his thinking; however, in the same breath he did try to reassure me that it will all work out and be okay. Men!
Have any of you experienced the scope testing? How about used steroids until pregnancy test or vitamins? Just wondering if this is common?
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10/11/2009 11:23 PM
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Hi Nwells... I am glad you are feeling better. A good walk/hike is always great. And being with good friends is therapeutic. I spoke with my SO the other night as well to make sure that he was willing to go as far as possible to make this happen. He said he would, but who really knows (like I mentioned in another post, it's easy to say, but not so easy to act upon). I know we will at least try with all our frozen and if that doesn't work I am not sure where we will go from there. I hope we NEVER have to decide any of that.
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10/11/2009 2:24 PM
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Hottie- hello good luck starting your IVF-
Hoping- glad to see your are doing better. I am in a better mood today I went hiking with a good friend today and now we are heading to our favorite cafe to watch the Giants game!!! They are winning. Last night My husband and I talked about everything and that really helped a lot. HE is determined to see this through and not give up until we have no other options. I spoke to my mom today too which always helps, So I am in a good place!! thanks to all talk soon!!!
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10/11/2009 11:22 AM
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Hoping2Bmommy, sandgodess, & ladybug I am so sorry to hear your sad news, I have been following you guys for awhile and was really hoping for the best.
I am starting my first IVF cycle (first lupron injection 10/14). Reading all of your stories has really helped me, so I just want to say thanks and I wish you all the best.
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10/11/2009 1:53 AM
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Ladybug and nwells - Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate the support. I am feeling better. Didn't even have to take the really strong meds today, just the kind of strong ones. Went to a local flea market with my SO and he was being very supportive. He even pointed out some baby things that he thought were really nice (Of course no need to buy them right now). I found some great deals and that always makes me happy (I love a good deal). Came home and started painting the bathroom (a project that was put on hold when we were going through the last round of IVF). It was nice to work together with SO. I am starting to feel a little more "normal" today. I am still sad, but at least I feel like I can function. Can't wait until my doc appointment on Tuesday. Maybe you (nwells) and I will be going through IVF together in January. I am not sure how long my doc will make me wait. Thanks again for helping me through this difficult time. I am wishing for all the best for the both of you and everyone else on the forum.
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10/10/2009 6:40 PM
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Hoping and NWells - I am sorry you are going through such a difficult emotional time in each of your lives. I have been there, I had a m/c back in February (with twins). It is hard, sad, emotional, scary and your DH and SO have no clue what you are going through or feeling. You will both get through it, I promise. We are here for you. I hope both of you start feeling better real soon, it is a process, and does take time but you will get there. Grieve.
And, Hoping, don't ever feel bad for coming onto this forum to vent, we are all in this together, trust me. We all have our moments of venting.
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10/10/2009 6:07 PM
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hoping- it is ok to be all about you, because right now it is!!! I hope you feel better soon. I am with you more then you know, I have never experienced a miscarriage let alone a pregnancy but I am so with you, and teary too!!! Been emotional all day and what I am going through is no where near what you have!!! So I pray you jump back and keep going because that is what I am doing even though I have no idea what direction I am heading. I am about to have a glass of wine don't know if you saw my post on the other wall but things are all over the place for me, so quoting one of my favorite movies "looks like I picked the wrong weekend to stop drinking". I will start the healthy me on Monday, I need a good weekend of letting go in order to deal with everything right now. I guess sometimes we just need to do that.
I send my prayers to you all and even though I am on a break to Jan, doctors orders, I will still check in to give you all the support you need!!!!
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10/10/2009 5:35 PM
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Hi Ladies,
Well, I spent the night in the ER. My m/c was hurting and the pain was unbearable, I finally broke down and went. Even after 22 cc's of Morphine, my pain was still uncomfortable (but much better than when I got there). My mother took me because my significant other was working. When he got off work, he just went home and went to bed! He called me once and told me, and I quite "I don't like this, I don't like this at all" as if I was doing something bad on purpose. I know when we go in for our next try that he will remind me how much pain I was in and tell me that he doesn't want to see me go through that again. Obviously, I wouldn't want to go through it again, but I have to (need to) try until all my options are exhausted. If I had to go through this 10 more times to, in the end, have the baby I so desperately want then I will. Something I don't think my SO understands. Thank goodness I have my mom. She was the one who convinced me to go to the ER. I am feeling better today, but still on very strong pain meds the ER doc gave me. I am sorry this post is all "me, me, me..." I just needed to talk with someone about this. Thank you for listening. I am wishing good "healthy baby" thoughts for everyone.
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10/9/2009 11:33 PM
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Hi Everyone,
Kris, I'm hoping this is it for you-- this FET will be the one. I just read your post, and part of me is floored that your husband went out with the guys while you were having a miscarriage, and part of me is not remotely surprised. Men really are volatile creatures. I've always been confused that women are portrayed as moody and emotional and irrational, because I've always been the more stable and rational one in my marriage as well as relationships with boyfriends before marriage. I think we just have to stay confident that the goal we are pursuing is valid and important and worth the investment, and accept that they may sway with their emotions or the prevailing winds of their thought a little more than us. When he's on board-- great; when he isn't-- bummer, but don't let it ruin your day or week or month. Keep your eye on the prize as long as you want to. Don't get me wrong-- I love my husband and he's usually very sweet, but I think it helps me stay sane to recognize his limitations.
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10/9/2009 10:02 PM
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Kris - I hope all went well with your transfer this morning. Take it easy, lots of relaxing and let your DH spoil you and wait on you hand and foot.
To all who got negative results this week, I am so sorry. I can relate as I am one of those sisters that got one, too. I was sad but pretty much knew it didn't work before I POAS. The reason my DH and I didn't start with IUI's first is because his acrosome test came back failed. Still waiting to hear back from my dr for my new protocol.
I also have to pay out of pocket for everything so I am praying that the next cycle works. If it doesn't, I think we will have to build up so more funds before we try again. So I am going to continue to think positive that this next run will work!! Fingers crossed.
Prayers to all. Hang in there.
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10/9/2009 5:28 PM
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To Hoping2bemommy: The physical pain will subside eventually but knowing that you are losing your baby is a hurt that stays for a long time. And it is more than ok to cry and feel grief. Every Christmas I remember as well as every fall for the two that I have had. May God grant you peace in this difficult time.
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10/9/2009 5:20 PM
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Thank you to all for your stories of hope, success and saddness and support. I don't feel quite so alone when I hear them.
Today was my test and I was correct. My test came back neg. I have cried all week and haven't spoken to many. Tonight, I think I will let my husband buy me a beer.
So now the question is, what should I do with the other 2 frozen embryos? After two trasfers and no pregancy is it just wasteful?
Baby Dust and Happy wishes to all of you who are starting your transfers, protocals or waiting for tests. Am may God smile his blessings on you.
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10/9/2009 12:34 AM
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Val - Thank you for the hopeful news about your experience. I am really hoping that my first cycle was just "bad luck." I still have 6 frozen and even though I am scared about the outcome (of it not working), I will try with every last one if I have to. I know this is bad thinking, but I have already asked my significant other if the doc says our embryos were/are bad and they don't work if he is willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen (including using another egg donor and/or possibly a sperm donor). He said he would do whatever, but I think he is still very "sure" that one of the frozen will work and he won't have to "really" make that decision.
Krismn - We too are paying for this all out of pocket and I too think we have spent more than I make in one year, but it's only money. I am sure I could have had a very nice car, but nothing compares to creating a life. Even though my significant other is not sympathetic and can frustrate me. One thing he is completely on board with is putting in as many embryos that it takes to give us a better chance. He is not afraid at all to have more than one baby (of course he will not be carrying them). I would not mind having more than one, but I feel like that’s a greedy thoughts. I am not sure I completely understood the blast vs. morulas thing, but I have an appointment with my doc on Tuesday and I will ask.
Krismn and smiles27 - I have kept what is going on with me (last two years) a secret from A LOT of people. I too feel like there are times when I want to (or need to) share, but I just don't want the questions every month. I have told only two friends and two coworkers. And the only people in my family that know are my mother and my 16 year old son. I felt like my son needed to know, but even at 16 he doesn't fully understand the process. He thought since the embryos were transfer that I was automatically pregnant. One thing he does not know, however, is that I used an egg donor. And again only one of my friends and one on my coworkers know that part of it. It is so hard to hide my sadness sometimes. I played softball last night and one of my friends at the game asked why I was so quiet and told me to snap out of it (if she only knew).
One last thing. I started to m/c today. I knew it was coming because I was starting to cramp very badly. I am in so much pain (physically and emotionally). I have taken 2 1/2 vicodin and I still hurt. I can't take any more for fear I will OD. I am worried about going to work tomorrow, but I can't miss anymore (just started a new job in August). I have tried drinking hot tea, a heating pad, curling up in a ball, crying, etc... Nothing seems to alleviate any of the pain. How long does this last? I just want it to be over, so I can move on and yet I am sad, thinking my baby is leaving me. Did anyone else feel this way?
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10/8/2009 9:57 PM
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Good Luck Kris! I think it is wonderful that you have lifted that stress of secret keeping for this cycle - I will keep my fingers crossed that it is just what you needed to get your little blessing!
I am a secret keeper myself - not from children because I don't have any YET but from a lot of my friends & all of my co workers. This winter will be 3 years of trying & I have been doing it all with a very supportive husband & a small circle of friends...sometimes I think about just telling people but then I chicken out because I just don't want everyone on my case...
However I think that telling your children was a great idea & I will be thinking positive thoughts for you during your 2ww...have a restful weekend!!
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10/8/2009 9:38 PM
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Tomorrow's the day of my FET, cycle #4 to be exact. Cycle #1(Fresh) transferred 1 - nothing. Cycle #2 (FET) transferred 2 - miscarried. Cycle #3 (Fresh) transferred 2 - miscarried. Dr said it's "Bad Luck" Seriously... I asked him if I should be tested for a bunch of different things that I researched and found online and he shot me down on everything and said he thinks it's just the "luck of the draw". trust me, not very comforting.
It's almost funny how so many of us have different parts of our lives during this process in common. My husband was ADAMENT about only having 1 BABY! We paid an extra $5k to go to the clinic where they would let us only transfer 1 at a time. Needless to say after that first FAILED transfer w/ 1. I begged each and every time to transfer 2 and got my way. But he was actually pissed at me EACH TIME! I would rather have 2 babies than no baby and he'd rather have no baby than 2 babies.... so we are total "Mars vs Venus" as my one doctor explained it. It's really stressful having such different feelings about it....sometimes I get worried about whether he'll go thru some midlife crisis in a few years (say we have a baby) and then he resents me for it..... Having another baby is something I have wanted for so long, so much.... the feeling is just not going away....
And to explain just how different men are when dealing with all of this.... my husband went to some guys cabin to go boating etc....over the weekend I was miscarrying last time. (I couldn't BELIEVE it!) Everyone is like oh they deal with things in their own way...it's different than we women do.....I'm sorry, but I honestly am still so hurt that he left me all alone while I was going thru that...
for the gal who asked about the FET. I had 4 frozen's the 1st time, this time I have 7. The FET is SO MUCH easier than a Fresh Cycle & yes, way cheaper. Our insurance covers nothing & with the cost of the actuall freezing and then the meds, I think it costs about $1000 for us to do a Frozen (well, that's because I'm part of the cost sharing program so all the other stuff is included in the "fee" we already paid up front for 6 cycles (3 fresh/3 frozen) Hope that makes sense. My meds typically cost around $2800 for a fresh cycle and $200 for a frozen.... I'm guessing we've dropped more money on this than I make in a year! But it's worth every penny! Also I will transfer 2 for the FET (if I have 2 to transfer), I will never do over 2 as my husband would divorce me that day! One thing I asked them to do this time for the FET though...hope I can explain this correctly. We had 7 frozen, 1 blast and then 6 morulas, they freeze them in what they called straws. the blast is alone in 1 straw and then there's 3 others with 2 morulas each.... I asked that they only thaw until they get 2 to transfer...cause then we may possibly have some left to thaw for another possible FET if this one is unsuccessful.
My appt is at 9:15 & then it's home to bed for the weekend. It will be weird...this is my 1st cycle that my older kids will actually KNOW why I'm in bed..instead of having to make up some lie to keep them from knowing what's going on..... such a weight lifted since we decided to tell them!
Good luck to everyone who has tests and has transfer coming up! So exciting to hear the updates from all you pregnant woman too. Definately makes me have hope!!!
Good night all!
Luv, Kris
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10/8/2009 6:30 PM
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NWell - I'm sorry you are in the same boat as me. What's odd is my first IVF back in January, I had a decent cycle. They retrieved 7 seven eggs, were able to fertilize 5 and all 5 fertilized. They transfered 3 and I got pregnant with twins. . .unfortunately, I miscarried. This time, they increased my Follistim in hopes of recruiting more follicles, and it did just the opposite. I should be hearing from my dr any day now with hopefully a new protocol that will work. I know it is all a game of chance but i was so shocked that I responded so differently to the drugs during my 2nd IVF cycle than I did for my 1st cycle.
Anyhow, I'm putting all my faith into my drs and I totally trust them, they are awesome. And they were able to get me pregnant on the 1st try so I think that says something. I did have a myomectomy in between my 2 cycles (back in June) and though my drs say that shouldn't affect my cycle, I often wonder if it could. Hmmm.
Ok, off to yoga now. I haven't been in a couple weeks (since my IUI) so I am looking forward to stretching out and getting relaxed. Catch ya later sisters!!
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10/8/2009 4:08 PM
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Snowie - Just put two blasts in. It will increases your chances. If you actually do have twin, niether you or your DH will want to give one up. It will be the biggest blessing for you.
Krism - Stay positive - Remember we were in the same situation last time and now my one and only surviving frozen took and I am almost 8 weeks with a strong heart beat.
Hoping2BeMommmy - They sau the odds go down with frozen, but it really is just a game of chance. The first time I put in three fresh and got a postivie then had a m/c. Now they only put in one frozen and it took, plus I had low betas with this one again. So you just never know. If you have the frozen use them. Don't give up yet.
lbzg - There really isn't a difference between the 3 & 5 day transfer as far as your chances of getting pregnant. It's just a judgment call from the RE.
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10/7/2009 9:15 PM
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what do you all thyink about 3 day transfer vs 5 day transfer?
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10/7/2009 8:38 PM
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HI I am writing on two walls,
Ladybug sounds like you and I are in the same boat, I go on Friday for a follow up, my dr. is bringing my file to her team, we have done 4 IUI's and 2 unsuccessful IVF cycles where our eggs didn't grow to her liking we had one egg with 9 cells and an A rating and one with 5 cells and a B rating but she still thinks we have and egg issue, and I have a bleeding uterus issue, I say that humorously because no one can tell me why I have been bleeding mid cycle, since I was 29. I mean clots, have to where a pad for two days bleeding mid cycle. Personally I think that is my issue. And I still have yet to find anyone who has the same problem. SO we go on Friday to see what our next move is. Just thought I would let you know you are not alone I totally know how you feel.
Hoping, I have an issue with sever cramps, so after my first IVF my dr gave me a prescription for a low dose "good" pain killer, it really helped me, so maybe you could see if your Dr could do that for you.
Exhausted time for bed. Talk soon
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10/7/2009 7:50 PM
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Hi ladies. I had my follow up appt with my dr today. It didn't go quite as I had planned but that's ok, nothing bad. She needs to still discuss my file with an associate and get back to me with a new protocol. I should hear something from her in the next few days (I hope).
WannaBe - Thanks for the kind words. I made it through yesterday ok for the most part. Today was a lot better of a day from a different aspect. My DH has been out of work since January and today he got a job offer!! I am so excited. He returned the call and got vm and left a message so hopefully he will hear back from this prospective employer by tomorrow. My fingers are crossed.
Kris - Don't ever feel like you are alone as we are here for you. Us sisters have to stick together. Got it!
Snowie - Sorry about the cancelled FET. Hang in there, you will get there. Please keep us posted and let us know when you reschedule it for.
Hoping2B - As far as the chances for success with a FET, I have never had any embryos to freeze but I remember my dr telling me that the success rate is a little less, I don't recall the percentage. It's worth a shot and I hear (from other sisters on this site) that it costs a lot less.
All my sister, I will continue to pray for all of us that God will bless us with little ones soon, and those with little ones in the oven, that they keep growing and you have a wonderful pregnancy. Hugs and baby dust!! Love ya!
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10/7/2009 5:50 PM
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Snowie, Just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you and hoping that "what should be will be" for you. I think our DH's tend to "freak" out a little because they worry so much about the financial strain of 2, can they provide, etc. I tend to walk on faith and feel that whatever we really need will be provided somehow, someway. Our RE was helpful in helping my DH understand that it greatly improved our odds if we put in 2. I can't imagine that he would be able to choose which baby to keep and which to not keep when your time came. Have faith, pray, and you'll be led to do what is best for you. Good luck and feel free to "vent" anytime if needed. Take care.
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10/7/2009 1:10 PM
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Wannabeamommy - Thanks SO much for sharing your story with me. It really helps to know I am not alone. I have thought too that in the end if my hubby saw two little beating hearts he would be ok and not mention anything else about it. But then there is that uncertainty that hurts b/c what if he doesnt? I still have a month and a half before we face that decision so hopefully it will just come to me.
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10/7/2009 12:39 PM
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So many of you are going through difficult times right now and I am so sorry. Sandgodess...I am 9 weeks and my breasts were more sore before I got pregnant than they have been since. Don't let the lack of breast tenderness make you feel like it won't happen for you. Everyone is different and each pregnancy is different. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wish you the best of luck.
hoping2Bmommy & krismn...sorry your DH's are not more supportive. Men just deal with all of this so differently than the we women do. Know that we are here for you and will try to more than make up for any support you don't get at home. Hang in there girls and good luck to both of you with your FET's. As I said before, every cycle is so different as is each pregnancy, so please try not to let past losses get you down. This may be your time!
Snowie...your post sounded so familiar to me in many ways. When we first started IVF over a year ago, my DH had a long (embarrassing for me) discussion with our RE about only wanting 1 baby and if there were 2 could we do selective reduction, etc. I was mortified. Well, after 3 failed cycles, the day that we are sitting in the room waiting for our transfer, the RE comes in and asks if we want to transfer 1 or 2 and they are both Grade A blasts. We came to the conclusion that we would rather risk having 2 than putting in 1 and not having anything if it did not take, especially since this was likely our last shot. My first beta came back at 247 and I had a feeling there would be twins. I was a bit concerned about my husbands reaction. Of course, at the first u/s when you see that it is twins, we both cried happy tears. I have never heard him mention since that he wishes there was only 1. I prayed really hard that God would soften his heart and that his will would be done for us. As a matter of fact, the day of the u/s, my DH said "now we'll both have a baby to hold just like we both have a puppy to hold already". He was so excited he called all of his family right away and now feels like the "stud" because no one else in the family has twins. Don't know if any of this helps you. If you can put back 2, you know your chances increase. I personally think that your DH might come around. I say that not casually, but I thought my DH never would, and he certainly did. Good luck with your decision and best wishes for a BFP!
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10/6/2009 10:49 PM
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Hi Krismn - I am sorry to hear about prior miscarriages. When I read your posting, I felt like I was the one who posted it. My significant other (SO) has not been the most supportive throughout this process either. He has gone along with and tried everything, but it's like pulling teeth. I know he wouldn't do it if he really didn't want it, but I just wish he wanted it as much as I do. He is almost 10 years older than I am and has three children already and two grandchildren; however, he is still young. I am in the middle of miscarrying (I found out Thursday I was going to m/c). I am constantly sad and have no desire to do anything. My SO can't stand to see me this way and is not very understanding of my feelings because if this does not happen for him he will go along with his life the way it is. Me on the other hand, I want this so badly.
Can you tell me a little about FET and your experiences and what your doc has told you? I will see my doc on Tuesday and hopefully will be setting up a FET. I have six frozen embryos. When I did fresh transfer they transferred two embryos. Do the odds go down with FET? Do they put in the same number of embryos? Sorry for all the questions, but I am just looking for some hope here. Does your doctor know why you m/c? My apologies if I am asking too much. Please only answer what you feel comfortable sharing.
When is your FET?
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10/6/2009 10:32 PM
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Im sorry you are going through all of this Kris. It is hard to deal with when you have support but if there is lack of support then it gets harder. Friday was supposed to be my FET day too and I am sad we had to post pone it. I had stuff going on with my youngest son and I think we may have it all worked out now but there was also another issue. Although my DH agreed to put 2 blasts back this time he said if we get twins we will have to give one away to adoption bc of all the money we spent on IVF we cant afford twins So now I am thinking we will only transfer one. But on the upside ... when we talked about it recently about whether we would be doing the next cycle and transfer in Dec. Well my hubby sai (and i quote ) the sooner the better YAY so hopefully yours will come around too
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10/6/2009 10:12 PM
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I haven't been on for awhile, been reading but not posting.
I go in on Friday for my FET. My mommy is coming to town to cook for me & "take care of me" while I'm on bedrest over the weekend. : ) I am looking forward to her cooking!
I am so scared...can't help myself but think...oh even if it comes back positive this time, I'll probably miscarry again anyway. I hate those thoughts. They are so EVIL. Been feeling really depressed lately. I know someone else mentioned they were feeling that way. I have a DH that doesn't share my desire to have another child or as he puts it "my obsession"...so have just been feeling really alone in all my emotions stemming from the miscarriages and my fears for the upcoming FET. Wonder if I'll ever find 'me' again....
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10/6/2009 10:05 PM
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I am so happy to hear the successes and congrats to you who will be Mommies! And for those of you with neg results, I feel your heart-wrenching pain
So although my test is on Friday, I am sure that it did not work. I woke up this morning and realized that even with the progrestrone shots, my breasts no longer were tender. That is my clue that I am not pregnant. Could I be wrong? Are my eyes swollen from crying all day for nothing? I have miscarried twice and although brief, I remember the breast being terribly tender. I still will not POAS and will wait for the test on Friday, but I am pretty sure that I will be drinking on my b-day (which is Sunday).
Thanks for listening.
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10/6/2009 7:40 PM
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hey Ladybug, So sorry for your sad news. It never gets easier, I know. I cried for a month after my last unsuccessful cycle, so feel free to let the tears wash you clean of all that you are feeling. Wish I could say something to make you feel better, but just know that you're in my thoughts and I hope you get great news about your next cycle tomorrow. Enjoy the beer and time with your cousin. Take good care, sweetie.
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10/6/2009 7:11 PM
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Toni - Thanks for your encouraging words. The day is almost over, thank goodness. No good news from my end. I POAS this morning and what appeared?? ...that dreadful "not pregnant". And now AF has arrived. I figured I would take the HPT today since it was already a sad day for me and I was pretty sure I was getting a negative result. I hope the other girls with beta tests today and upcoming get that positive result.
I'm going out for a beer with my cousin as I need it. I feel like crying pretty much all the time, I'm sure part of it is the hormones. Well, I guess I'll be stopping the Endometrim inserts now that AF has arrived.
Dr appt pushed up to tomorrow at noon (it was Wednesday next week but I am hoping I can start my next cycle right away).
Thank you, ladies, for always being a wonderful support system. I couldn't get through this without you all by my side.
Thank you, thank you thank you. . . I'll try to check in tomorrow evening with my new protocol. Hopefully I will also find some good news on here tomorrow from the other ladies with beta tests today.
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10/6/2009 1:41 PM
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WannaBeAMommy - Congratulations on your graduation to an OB. That is real progress!!
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10/6/2009 12:37 AM
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Wannabe - congrates on your success the first time around. I hope to be in your position real soon. Keep me posted on the progress.
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10/6/2009 12:34 AM
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Mummy, thank you for the info. I just want to get through with it, so I can move on. You are dead on about the emotions and the fact that my significant other is not "feeling" it the way I am. I don't want him to hurt, but I have to admit (ashamed to admit) that I feel better when he tells me that he is feeling sad or low about the miscarriage. It just confirms that he cares. I know this is terrible. I cannot imagine going through m/c nine times. My gosh, how do you keep going? I have been seeing a psychologist for a year and a half. I saw him today and he told me to "feel" whatever I want to feel, but I hate feeling this low. Nothing seems to make me happy. I see the doc next Tuesday, so hopefully he will set up my next transfer or at least give me some hope that it will work. Good luck to you in your attempt with IVF. I hope this will be the magic bullet (so to speak) that you need to achieve success.
Thanks again to everyone for the kind words. It really helps to jump on this site and "talk" with everyone.
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10/5/2009 11:48 PM
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hoping...I have had several m/c all at different stages that is why I am on my first ivf cycle and the one I had between 4 and 5 weeks was not phisically painful however the emotions made it all the worse the bleeding was no more than a normal period could not see the fetus in the toilet or anything like that now I m/c at 13 weeks and that was a totally different story...hope that helps however I can say with integrity that NOTHING will help with the emotional pain so draw near to God and dh and be mad at God if you need to but try not to be mad at dh because the m/c alone is stressful enough on the marriage and remember men feel differently than women or express it differently anyhow so expect his response to look different and don't be angry with him for that that was the biggest mistake I made in most of my 9 m/c if you need to cry we will be here I may need to cry tomorrow too! Praying for you...I know how hard that miscarriage is especially after the hope was there and then ripped away! God bless you Wannabe and Val yes the fear wont stop until you have the baby in your arms and then a whole new level of fear begins...congrats and I just keep praying a healthy pregnancy. Toni I am so grateful for your friendship and I am tryng but failing I will email you after I hear tomorrow
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10/5/2009 11:37 PM
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thanks for all the encouragement I so need because as you all understand I am depressed and a nervous wreck... I am slghtly withdrawn too and I can't help but be sad and I am not sure there is even anything to be sad about but...I find out tomorrow...
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10/5/2009 10:58 PM
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Hello Sisters,
I am praying for positive Beta's for all of you testing this week.
I am jumping up for joy for all my other sisters that are in their first trimester, I ask you guys to take on the role of Queens, no lifting, pushing, standing all day, or stressing. Enjoy your blessing and do not push yourselves please. I am so happy to hear about all the little beans baking in the ovens and I want them yo be safe. So please enjoy your blessed moments and smile and laugh as much as possible.
Ladybug my due date from my last miscarriage would have been June 21st and that was in 2006, I have not let go of that memory at all. When I found out I was pregnant it was the happiest time of my life, I do not want to forget it, I guess that is why I can't let go of the sad aspects as well. So I understand your feelings, and I will pray for another joyful moment for you to associate with this tomorrow's date.
Mummy I have you in pray and I want you to stay strong.
I am trying to be patient, I hope to start my DE in November, so I need you all to pray for me. The Donor egg cycle is different in the beginning and I hate the unknown!!!!!
Good night and love,
Toni
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10/5/2009 9:17 PM
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I need to learn not to dwell in the past. . . I need to look to the future and what it can bring me.
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10/5/2009 9:16 PM
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So I'm feeling quite emotional right now. . . I'm finding out this week if I'm pregnant. . . on top of that, 9 months ago I found out I was pregnant, my due date would have been October 6, yes, tomorrow. . . Not sure how to handle all this. I'm sure the hormones on top of it aren't helping. I wish I didn't remember my due date from the last pregnancy. Has anyone else had difficulties getting through days like these?
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10/5/2009 8:26 PM
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Hi girls!
Know several of you have your betas coming up...Mummy, Ladybug, and Movan. Good luck to each of you. Pray that you all get BFPs! Sending you all lots of prayers and baby dust! Movan, as others have said, the progesterone can make you quite constipated. (Fortunately, I haven't had that problem.) Weight gain is also just one of the many side effects of all the meds & hormones we're on. My trick for the shots is this: my DH rubs the area w/an ice cube vigorously then alcohol. I put all my weight on the opposite leg and lean over either on the vanity, bed, etc. After the injection, he rubs with ice again. I barely feel it and I've been doing them for a long time now. Good luck to all!
Toni...haven't been online for a few days so I will check for your email and write you back. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Hope things are going well for you with your DE process.
Cristeen... hope your Dad is OK and your AF comes soon. The waiting is so hard!
Snowie...good to hear from you. Hope you're on target for December!
Hoping2BMommy...I wrote to you on the other board. Welcome and good luck with your FET!
JuieD....fabulous news on your twins! I am also PG with twins. Will be 9 weeks on Wednesday. Keep us posted on the sexes when you know for sure.
Val....We are just a couple of weeks apart as you said you're 7 weeks and I am nearly 9. You are right, it is still a constant worry. Wonder when that stops? Any thoughts on that one, JulieD?
As for me...had the last visit to the RE"s office today! Sad to say good bye to everyone but thrilled at the same time! Had a bit of a worry over the weekend. Was on my feet a lot and started spotting a bit on Saturday. Continued through today. Very light, old blood. Only when I went to the restroom. Of course, you panic a bit inside but tried to stay calm as I had spotted bright red blood at 4 weeks. My book "The Pregnancy Bible" says that many women experience "a light, period like bleed at 4 & 8 weeks due to hormonal changes" so tried to focus on that. My RE did not seem overly worried and to the contrary, told me that it is very common with IVF patients to have some spotting during the first 12 weeks. Today was our 2nd OB u/s and it was so wonderful. Both babies looked absolutely perfect! We couldn't believe how much they had grown. Both had tripled in size and now look like little gummy bear babies! Both heart beats were strong at 179 beats. Baby A was moving her/his little arm & leg buds around like crazy. Really wiggling. So amazing to see. Set my mind at ease though I will continue to be cautious and try to take it easy until the end of the first trimester. Have my first OB appt. next week. Will keep you all posted.
It's wonderful to have you "sisters" to share with, support, and receive support from. I wish you all the very best and hope everyone gets their miracle sooner than later. XO
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10/5/2009 7:41 PM
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Mummy - Good Luck tomorrow! I have been thinking about you LOTS lately...we all hope to hear good news from you tomorrow!!
Hoping - my last cycle (which was our 5th IVF) finally gave us our first positive results - although they were low & came a day after I got my period. My second blood test the numbers almost doubled & then they dropped back down to 0 over the next 2 blood tests...I experienced a pretty heavy period but that was all! Hopefully this works itself out for you with as little pain as possible so you can move on...
We are waiting a bit to do our last cycle (trying on our own in the meantime) while the acupucturist does his work to get my body ready!! Good Luck to all with tests & cycles starting
Happy baby thoughts to ALL!
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10/5/2009 4:09 PM
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WannaBeaMommy - I don't think we will ever stop worrying until we are in the delivery room. I am 7 weeks and doing the same thing. I get the heartbeat and now I can't wit till I go back in two weeks to make sure everything is still ok. Every time I go to the bathroom I look for blood. It is a constant worry.
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10/5/2009 4:06 PM
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Movan - Yes Constipation is a definite side effect of progesterone. Your husband is not necessarily doing anything wrong. They hurt and make you sore. Make sure you chance sides every night. Oh weight gain is for sure. I gained 15 lbs the first time and about 10 this round. So be prepared.
Mummy23boys - Keep up your spirit. I will pray for you. Yes - i did a home pregnancy test on Day 8 and the electronic one came out positive, but those eventually run out so I wanted to save it so I bought one with just the lines and that came out negative. So if you are doing early detection stick with the electronic.
JulieD - Glad to here from you. I am glad you are doing well with the twins. Boy and Girl would be perfect. THis way you have one of each and don't have to go through this roller coaster ride again.
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10/5/2009 1:07 PM
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Cristeen - I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope everything goes well with him.
I just got the final word from the nurse today. My HCG dropped so low over the last few days that I am not even on the charts anymore. I was instructed to stop all meds immediately (not a surprise). Has anyone been through this? How long should I expect to be waiting to start my cycle? When I had my ectopic and my tube was removed, it seemed like I bleed right away. I am not looking forward to the next several days or weeks. I am aware that the baby did not survive, but I can't help thinking that I will feel all that loss as my body discards the fetus. How does anyone ever get through this?
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10/5/2009 7:28 AM
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cristeen- it took my body almost 6 full weeks before i got my period after the D&C. Now I know the situations are different but I still believe a LOT of that is the medicines that caused the delay and my doctor said if push come to shove and we needed my period to start they could "make" it start.
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10/4/2009 11:58 PM
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hey ladies...haven't posted for awhile but I check on everyone everyday. Mummy...thinking about you. Hang in there. I am in a holding patttern. Still no AF...can't understand it. Stopped meds when cycle got cancelled on Sept 11. Have new plan and new meds waiting for me in fridge! I know I read it can take your body a little bit to start up again...but I didn't expect this. My dad was seriously ill last week and will have surgery this week so maybe it's a blessing in disguise as my stress level was off the charts. Guess I'll call the nurse tommorrow just to see what she thinks!! Good luck to everyone waiting and hoping!
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10/4/2009 11:56 PM
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nwells - thank you again for making me feel so welcome here. You cannot imagine how many plans I made in just two days time. I will be stopping the meds tomorrow (the docs wanted to run one last blood test to be sure) and then will get to officially miscarry. I am not sure what to expect. Last time I went through this I had an ectopic and was rushed into surgery where they took the "baby" and my tube along with it. So, I never actually miscarried myself. I assume it will be like a heavy, painful period, but not sure. I just started a new job in August and I had to leave work on Thursday and could not drag myself outta bed on Friday. I hope to not miss any work because of miscarriage.
I wish you all the luck with your next cycle. I am not sure if my doc will let me try again right away or make me wait a couple months. I should find out soon. Maybe we will go through our cycles together. Keep me posted on your progress.
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10/4/2009 10:04 PM
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pee on a stick...ladybug good luck
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